Larry McGarry

Larry McGarry

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THERE’S a rare little river that runs through our town,

In summer or winter its waters are brown,

But though sickly in smell, and unsightly to see,

It’s a dear, sweet little river to me.

For when parents are pressing,

Cajoling, caressing,

To give my young heart in exchange for his paw,

It saved me from Larry

They wanted me marry—

From Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

His suit which he pressed in full many a speech,

I flouted—yet still he suck on like a leech,

And he vowed that he never would let me alone,

Till I flesh of his flesh was and bone of his bone.

But dear little river,

I’ll praise you for ever,

Though others may find in you many a flaw,

You saved me from Larry—

They wanted me marry,

From Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

There arose on this river a question of right,

And neighbours on all sides took part in the fight,

But the judge wouldn’t dare to consider the case,

Until Larry McGarry inspected the place.

Then everyone made for

This great agitator,

And high o’er the bridge like a frightened jackdaw,

They perched my brave Larry

They wanted me marry—

Great Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

From the battlement top he’d an excellent view,

Though to keep himself there he had plenty to do,

And the neighbours below him were jammed in a fight

In their efforts to settle this question of right;

But twixt yelling and bawling

And pushing and hauling,

And fighting like devils, with tongue, tooth and claw,

In flop! tumbles Larry

They wanted me marry—

Great Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

Now where he fell in it was there he was drowned

Though a trace of his carcase could never be found,

But the neighbours will tell it is just where he fell

That the river is strongest in flavour and smell;

And dear little river,

You free me forever

When down to the bottom you managed to draw

The carcase of Larry

They wanted me marry—

Great Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

The very next day there came one to propose,

And we cannot be constantly cocking our nose,

So our parents and friends had at last to give me

And allow me to marry my own Mocky Flynn,

And river dear daily

We’re drinking you gaily,

For mixing your equal I never yet saw,

Since you save me from Larry

They wanted me marry—

Great Larry McGarry the limb of the law.

           Garden Street, Ballina.